So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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