I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
