I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize