i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
