If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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