Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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