If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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