Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize