i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
