I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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