Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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