if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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