he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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