legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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