I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
