You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
