going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
