At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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