its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
