Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
