Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
