so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
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