he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
