is your mom at the bar?
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
