I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
