Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize