I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize