i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
