im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
