Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
