Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
