whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
