Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
