I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
