i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
