i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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