she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
