this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
