considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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