Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
