dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
