i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
false alarm, still single
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
