yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
