Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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