VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
