He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
