May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
