He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
