Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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