well you can't waste a boner
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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