When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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