You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
you never un-have a 4some
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
