nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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