How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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