If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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