Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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