you guys were way drunker than both of me
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You have to summon your inner elephant
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
