You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
