you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
