she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
So many bounce houses so little time
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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