I need to stop coming to work sober
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
