My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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