Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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