This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
