playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
