So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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