Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
